


Tim Farron, the Eurovision Aspirant

by almaia



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Political RPF, Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:25:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7290337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almaia/pseuds/almaia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the national finals season for the Eurovision Song Contest 2017 and an unlikely person tries their luck at representing the United Kingdom at the Eurovision Song Contest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tim Farron, the Eurovision Aspirant

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is a fill for a prompt asking for Tim Farron in the Eurovision based on a Facebook status that Tim made about wanting to be a Eurovision entrant after being disappointed with UK's entries back in 2012.
> 
> Disclaimer: The content of this work is purely fictional even if the characters are real life figures and some real life events are referenced to. No disrespect and political bias is intended by this work.

> _OK, so we've tried a 75r year old 60s heart throb, a washed up 90s boy band, x-factor rejects, a 4th rate rapper, a stock aitken and waterman survivor... and still we get slaughtered. There's only one thing for it, bring on the Pistols. Or else lets just start taking the mick and I'll do it!_

-Tim Farron, May 27, 2012 [[x](https://www.facebook.com/timfarronmp/posts/467353219948351)]

**January 2017**

Tensions were high for the British delegation to the Eurovision Song Contest as things got unfavorable for them. Ever since the Brexit, there were already rumors that the United Kingdom would receive no points – some even say that they’d be delisted from the Big 5. It’s not even helping that bookies were not favorable with them and now, they were the butt of Wiwibloggs’ jokes as well.

Even with Graham Norton as their new Head of Delegation, an aura of anxiety was still upon the United Kingdom delegation. Graham could only do so much to keep the United Kingdom at bay in the contest. He managed to keep the UK relevant with his commentaries when Sir Terry Wogan had stepped down as commentator.

Now, he had stepped down as commentator to become the new Head of Delegation after Guy Freeman resigned from the job following the unsuccessful results in the 2016 contest – even after they reverted back to the National Finals format of entrant selection. The new commentator meanwhile, was John Barrowman and fortunately, John knew a good amount of things about the Eurovision so they didn’t need to worry of BBC’s Eurovision ratings plummeting.  

It was unanimously decided that Eurovision: You Decide was to return for the second year and a new addition to the format was a live audition – to make sure that people who auditioned actually sounded good live. The previous year, all they needed was audio recordings before the final five could be selected but it didn’t really work well although Joe & Jake sounded good live. This time, they wanted to make sure that they _really_ got the right one!

“Nigella, we know how much winning the Eurovision for the UK means to you.” Graham said, “But your song entry simply doesn’t match your vocals, and if we let you through, it would be an embarrassment not just for us but for you as well. We’re so sorry.”

“I swear, Graham Norton.” Nigella said, “One day, I’ll be back here, I’ll make the United Kingdom great in the Eurovision again!”

“Next!” John Barrowman called out as Nigella was escorted out of the audition room

The next one to undergo the live auditions shocked Graham and John. They had to even pinch each other discretely just to make sure that they were absolutely not dreaming. It was the person they least expected to see auditioning for the national finals.

“Good day Graham and John, I’m Tim Farron.”

“You’re the Prime Minister!” John said as he rose up and pointed on Tim, “I mean no offense but what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to audition for Eurovision: You Decide.” Tim said calmly as he looked at John and Graham who were still shocked

“How come?” Graham asked, “I mean we know you’re a huge fan of the contest and you have been upset of our choices in the last few years to the point that you yourself would take the opportunity to go to Eurovision for us…”

“…And you were actually serious about it?!?” John said in the most shocked voice

“I am indeed serious about it.” Tim said, still in a calm voice, “We’ve tried Engelbert Humperdinck, left side of the scoreboard. Blue, left side of the scoreboard. Daz Sampson, left side of the scoreboard. Even Molly and Joe & Jake who were the decent ones among the bunch didn’t work out!”

Graham saw the Prime Minister’s passion and that was good for UK’s chances of winning, but what he needed to see more of at this point, is whether he can translate the passion into a performance worthy of all the twelve points, “Alright Mr. Prime Minister, we’ve seen how passionate you are about this, now if you will just – “

“Perform. That’s exactly what I’m going to do now.” Tim told Graham, “It’s a song called _Better Together_ and you two and Europe are gonna love this!”

“Alright then, Mr. Prime Minister.” John said, “Give us a shot!”

The song started off slowly, _oh God, we’re going to lose, aren’t we?_ , Graham thought to himself as Tim sang the first few parts of the song. John had his fingers crossed, that maybe, just maybe, the song would finally come to life – something like “Love Love Peace Peace” (he knows it was an interval act in the form of a “joke entry” but a song like that would win Eurovision if serious lyrics were in place).

The tempo gained as Tim reached the chorus and Graham was on the edge of his seat, waiting for the rhythm to build up, _god this better not end up like “Icebreaker” or were going to get f*cked for good!_. Tim was now singing the chorus and it was steadily upbeat – and Tim seemed to be very much into the song. John was even impressed that Tim managed to go through the first part of the song without going out of tune.

“Well Mr. Prime Minister, that was pretty impressive!” John commented out of awe as Graham clapped

“We didn’t know that you had it in you.” Graham said, “That when you said you could go into Eurovision, you actually have what it takes!”

“So am I in?” Tim asked while trying to mask his excitement

“We don’t normally get Members of Parliament, let alone the Prime Minister, on board the Eurovision as entrants.” Graham explained, “But seeing that Iceland succeeded in 2014 with a Member of their Parliament performing, I don’t see why we can’t have you in the National Finals as an entrant.”

“Provided of course, that you are not to promote your politics when you do promotions for Eurovision: You Decide.” John said, “We’ll let you through but when you are doing activities in connection to the national finals, you’ll assume the role of Tim Farron the emerging singer.”

“Also, no concessions for you.” Graham said, “You have to go through what the rest of your fellow entrants will be going through and you have to earn the televoting public’s votes with your own efforts. Do you understand, sir?”

“Oh Graham, I’m not the one to do power tripping.” Tim assured the two, “When I got in here, I was completely aware that if I got through, I must abide by your rules on the national finals. You have your full trust in Tim Farron the Eurovision aspirant!”

“Now, we’re talking!” Graham said as he pointed to Tim

“Alright Tim,” John said, “We will get in touch with you on when you and your fellow entrants will be signing the contract to formalize your participation in Eurovision: You Decide.”

“Thank you, Graham and John!” Tim said, “I’ll play it fair and make the most out of it. Now, have a good day!” he added.

Tim then walked out of the room and Graham motioned for the next person to undergo the live auditions to be sent in. It was going to be a long day for John and Graham but they think they’ve hit the jackpot already even before the day ended.

Only time will tell if Tim is indeed meant for Eurovision. For now, he’d have to fight through the national finals first. A new territory and a new battlefield for him but he couldn’t be more excited.

 


End file.
